10 Reasons Cats Are Better Than Men
Ladies The Cat Mag brings you 10 Reasons Cats Are Better Than Men.
Feel free to add you own 🙂
It’s Halloween so keep your cats indoors tonight! Along with the kids, all the crazies are out tonight, some of whom think it’s great fun to torment cats, especially black cats!
The amount of people out and about on Halloween, along with increased vehicular traffic can make the outdoors a frightening and unsafe place for cats.
If possible keep your cats in a closed room, in case they panic and slip out when trick or treaters come to the door. Even the calmest cat can become upset at endless doorbell ringing and voices shouting “Trick or treat!” Enjoy the night but try to avoid stressing your cats.
2 Back hair on cats is cute.
3 It is legal in all states to neuter a cat.
4 Cats comfort you when you are sick.
5 When a cat sleeps all day it’s natural, not annoying.
6 Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.
7 A cat is loyal.
8 Cats actually think with their heads.
9 “Meow” is never a lie.
10 They’ll both stand outside your door and whine, but the cat will stop when it gets in.
11 It’s more amusing to watch a cat try and deal with a piece of tape stuck on its paw than to watch a man do anything.
12 To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs 35 cents.
13 A cat’s friend is less likely to be annoying.
14 Cats can’t show love without meaning it.
15 Cats are always cute.
16 The only thing a cat expects you to “put out” is food, water, and a clean litter box.
17 Cats know how we feel. They don’t care, but they know
You took the cat to the vet and she prescribed a course of cat medication to be taken twice a day. The cat may not agree with the diagnosis or the prescription!
If you are very brave you are welcome to try the following – however The Cat Mag accepts no responsibility for any injuries or damage caused to people or property!
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop cat medication into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop cat medication down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check the label to make sure cat medication is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, pry cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a pint of water down throat to wash cat medication down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.